The dating game has definitely changed in 2019 compared to how it used to be back when our grandparents and parents were younger. The scene today lacks chivalry, respect and all around purpose. As a newly single woman, I now find myself reading numerous relationship blogs, joining single groups on Facebook and just trying to get a feel for what’s out there. I must say that I am highly disappointed! This new generation of men is something else and trying to find a stand up guy is like trying to find a leprechaun riding a magical unicorn. It’s nearly impossible! Today’s men can buy you a happy meal from McDonald’s and automatically assumes that that meal has earned them enough brownie points for intimacy! Huh!? Where do they do that at? I didn’t want to say it but today’s men and women are definitely living in a microwave society. Everything is wanted so fast and easy with little to no effort.
Now although men play a major role and are fairly responsible for the contaminated pool of eligible bachelors available to us, we as women should not allow them to take the full blame. I know this post almost sounded like a Girl Power, blame it all on the men type of post but I’m sorry ladies, let’s take a look at ourselves shall we?!
I for one absolutely love the girl power movement that we have in today’s society. Everywhere you turn there are women empowerment groups, support groups and campaigns to highlight the beauty and diversity of women. We are successful, strong and all-in-all we are the shit! (excuse my French) Women are some amazing beings, if I do say so myself but how does the strong, independent business savvy woman fit in today’s world of dating? Many would like to contest and say that we don’t because men are this and that and they just don’t fit our standards and so on and so forth. However; could this mentality be the reason why so many women struggle to find real love in 2019? Don’t get me wrong, having standards are a key opponent to weeding out the have and the have nots but let’s be realistic with our standards ladies! We simply can’t request something from a man that we aren’t willing to get or already have. For example, if you work at a fast food restaurant making minimum wage, you can’t expect to find a man that’s the CEO of his own company. You can’t ride public transportation and request that your man only drives a Mercedes Benz! C’mon ladies be realistic!
To some these scenarios may seem too far fetched but believe me when I say, that these requests exist. I’ve witnessed it with my very own eyes. Again please don’t take this as me saying settle for less, but as me simply saying Don’t request a man to bring filet mignon to the table, if you don’t first have a table to begin with. Maybe that’s the wrong analogy but you all catch my drift.
There’s a bible verse that goes something like "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required," Luke 12:48
Ladies! We have to bring something to the table as well, we can’t come with just empty bellies, Lol!
But on the flip side, if we do bring something to the table we can’t allow our success to alter our attitudes. It’s great that you make $80,000 a year! It’s commendable that you have your own business and a nice car. Nothing wrong with that AT ALL! however, having a snobby attitude due to your successes can make you unapproachable. No matter how much money you make or how successful you are, try to remain a human being. Even if a dude is not your type and you’re not interested, be respectful about it. We do not have to be rude and condescending to get our point across. Although we are bosses, we still can be feminine and nurturing. A woman with this dynamic is definitely a force to be reckoned with.
Lastly, we should take the time to really get to know someone before casting judgement. Say you meet a guy who has all the qualities you are looking for. Nice, job, nice car, attractive but he has a child. Before you weed him out, learn his story. What happened with his last relationship? Why is he single? You can’t know everything from someone just by looking at the surface. We have to distinguish between the guys who show apparent red flags and those who just need a little bit deeper understanding. He may be a great guy if you take the opportunity to know him.
so to sum it up ladies we should:
1. Bring something to the table
2. Be approachable and
3. Willing to genuinely get to know someone who potentially deserves it.
With these few aspects finding true love may not be so foreign after all!
Ladies let me know how you feel about dating in 2019 in the comments.