Everybody has an ideal image in their head about the type of person they want to be with or what kind of a relationship they want. Unfortunately, it remains in our heads because the fairytale of a “perfect relationship” DOES NOT EXIST!!! Yes, it’s okay to have an overall idea about what you want, There’s nothing wrong with that. If you stand for nothing you will fall for anything, and trust me honey you don’t want that! We often get caught up in relationships that are not beneficial to us because we settle. The last thing you want in a relationship is having to babysit a grown ass man-child! Everyone deserves greatness and the minute you settle for and accept less, you will get less than you bargained for. #issafact
While making a list of qualities you would like for your ideal partner to possess or what you want in the relationship, be cognizant that you will not get everything ( kudos to anyone who has managed to tick off everything On your list, I wanna meet you!). You must be realistic! There is no “perfect mate” however, you can find someone who is perfect for you. The key is to find someone with the right amount of attractive qualities so that you don’t mind dealing with their undesirable ones. You will love them so much that you can tolerate the not so pleasant days without strangling them. I read a quote once that said, “A true relationship is two unperfect people refusing to give up on each other.”
So then, what is Relationship Readiness? What does it mean to be ready for a relationship? We all want to be in a perfect relationship but a lot of times we don’t stop to check ourselves to see what we have to offer and if what we bring to the table is worth sitting down to eat. We “wa-wa-want” like an ambulance all day and do not understand that sometimes our relationships fail because we aren’t ready. We tend think we are ready only because we know what we are looking for and what we want, but what about you as a person? Are you ready? Do you possess the right attitude to deal with another person’s character? What about your self-esteem and your self-confidence, are they on point? Are you the kind of person that likes to pass around quick judgements freely but can’t take criticism? What about your values, morals and beliefs… are you grounded? Are you willing to change for the better? The list of questions can go on and on!
See, what I have come to realize is that people don’t take relationships as serious as they take other things in their lives. They feel that once the commitment is made then the work ends. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be. When you want a job you study the company, practice your interview questions, dress for the part and show up on time. When you want to buy a house or car do you not research the details and know the facts first? If not, then you should! The same rule applies to a relationship.
A connection between two people that is formed based on common goals and beliefs, is consider a relationship. Whether you like it or not, a relationship is something you have to be mentally, emotionally and even physically ready for. Let’s not forget being financially ready as well… no one wants someone that can’t do anything for themselves, and if they do trust me it’s only a matter of time before trouble begins. #issafact
You cannot change a person into who you want or need them to become. They must want to become a better person for themselves. You can have it all mapped out in your head about who they should be. However, while you’re planning God is wiping. Your plans may not be the blueprint that He has for your life. People change even after you’ve known them for a while. It happens! You have to determine how you respond.
This is where inner peace plays a role. One of the best feelings you can find is “Inner Peace!” And when you grab a hold of that…“DO NOT LET IT GO!” In the famous words of Jamaica’s Former Female Prime Minister and mine, “Do not let go of your inner peace and happiness with yourself; “fi no bwoy, no gal, NO day!” LMAO! It is better to be ready and waiting than taken and miserable. Yes! we need companionship but is your happiness worth settling with someone who makes you feel miserable as f----? (I did not say that word) Think about it!
How to KNOW when you’re ready for a RELATIONSHIP: You know you are ready when you can be independent and self-reliant financially, emotionally and mentally. When you can stand firm on your beliefs of what you will or will not tolerate. You aren’t afraid of being alone because you are just as happy with yourself. When you stop believing you need someone to make you feel complete and strong enough to walk away from a relationship that is not going in the direction that benefits you both. You are most certainly ready, when someone, after seeing you do certain things can admire you and say, “why are you still single, you will truly make someone happy someday.” You will then KNOW you are ready.
One last thing to remember, it is not always about the grand gifts and gestures, though they make us happy, it’s the small things that matter most. Compliments, special meals, quality time all show your partner that you are considerate, kind and you want them to be a part of your life. The small things make a world of difference, appreciate them and don’t be afraid to do them often as often as you see fit. Remember happy/healthy relationships don’t just happen, You make them happen!
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